But on a lighter note, Tanya is coming over for dinner tonight so that will be fun! I'm sort of excited! I'm cooking sloppy joes and fixing a salad. I need to go at lunch and get the stuff to make it.
Of course the subject of change, makes me want to change more things too...I'll get back to you on that.
- Location:My computer as always
- Mood:
weird - Music:Something horrible from the Vanilla Sky soundtrack.
"The mightiest oak in the forest is just a little nut
that held it's ground"
- Location:My desk
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:Moby~
1. I need to start organizing stuff for our trip. I need to figure out what we're going to see, what we need to pack, all that good stuff.
2. I miss my inlaws right now. I know I'm going to see my mother in law in a couple of weeks, but I really miss my father in law, step mother in law and that whole side of the family. They're really kewl.
3. I guess I take for granted rush hour traffic-I should be grateful that it's not bad and it doesn't take me an hour or more to get to work in the morning instead of complaining that no one else knows how to drive.
4. I'm a little depressed over my work situation. I think I need to honestly sit down with myself and figure out what the heck I need to do to get me to where I want to be. I'm not getting any younger after all.
5. I need to call and check on Aunt Margie and see how she is feeling. After that nasty fall she was telling me about, I'm really worried about her.
6. I have this layout in my head for my scrap page, WHY I SCRAP, but so need to get my rear end in gear and get it done. If I don't, I might miss the deadline, but then again, I might have already. Guess I need to look into that.
7. I have totally stopped on my book writing and I need to get back into that. So much to do and so much free time now that D works 12 hours a day.
*sigh*
I think to much!
- Location:Work
- Mood:
depressed - Music:Everything in it's Right Place~Radiohead
This is Julie's little boy Chance. I babysat for her Saturday and snapped this picture of his feet. He's such a sweet baby boy. I used this also as my picture of the day for Saturday!
- Location:Work
- Mood:
complacent - Music:Hands of Time~Groove Armada
1. Oh, I can't wait until I have a VACATION.
2. THE LIGHT is the first thing I see when I open my refrigerator.
3. I never leave home without MY CELL PHONE.
4. If I were a condiment, I would be KETCHUP because EVERYONE NEEDS KETCHUP.
5.BAD DRIVERS is really high up on my list of pet peeves.
6. The last thing I thought of before I went to bed was THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to DOING NOTHING, tomorrow my plans include WASHING CLOTHES and Sunday, I want to CHILLAX!
- Location:My Life
- Mood: content
- Music:One Republic
We are going to be leaving on August 6th to fly to Washington to see his mom and then go to his cousin's wedding. I'm sort of excited about this, can't wait to see his family again. When I come back, mom and I want to take a weekend trip to Lori's. I am so missing her! Well, I'm missing them all. But I think it's that way with my whole family. Greg, Judy, Katy, Jeremy, Ryan, Nick, Flo, Doni, Lori, Eric, Corban, Pennygirl, I miss them all. I know Dirk does too.
I wish we lived closer or they lived closer, either way, I'd take it. I can't believe how blessed I am with my in laws.
Oh well, guess that's about it. I've not really been in a writing mood much lately.
well, that's sort of a lie. I'm working on an entry for another day, maybe tomorrow. Who knows. Either way. I just have to share my picture of the day for today..it's really grown on me. What do you think?
- Location:Work
- Mood:
calm - Music:Song Cry~Jay Z
I've still got to upload the pictures so far, but check it out sometime.
- Location:My cubby hole
- Mood: silly
- Music:The radio
So last night I'm flipping through the endless channels on dish and noticed Voltron on. Okay so I have to admit, I'm a sucker for Voltron! No matter how old I am or how cheesy I realize it is, I'm sucked in just with the mention of it. Why I don't know. I guess I have to think back to the days when it was actually on the air. I was a kid in 3rd grade. We lived in Newport News, VA and I remember getting up so early in the mornings because back in the day, Daddy was working at the ship yard and had to be at work super early. I had to get up and get ready for school and put myself on the bus. So I would watch cartoons to stay awake. You know, Popeye, Voltron, even some 3 Stooges. I always hated Popeye and thought they put him on that early in the morning because no one would be watching it.
But I loved Voltron. I don't even think back then I realized how cheesy it was, but then again, I was kid. We always think things like that are the grandest. But as I was sitting there reflecting on Voltron last night, I started reflecting on that whole year. Well, not the whole year but that particular time in my life. Remembering getting up, going to school, coming home, waiting on my dad to get off work and then come home. That was the year that I met Amber, I wish we had gotten each other's addresses, she moved not long after we met. But we had become such good friends that she gave me the Smurfette trinket. I think I still have it somewhere put up.
That year, I had Mrs. Gatsky, the meanest teacher ever. At least I thought she was. But she would do things like read us Charlotte's Web and everything was good again. I think that was one of my chatty years. You know, when you run your mouth too much and don't listen and get a note sent home for talking too much. She moved to Germany not long after that and I remember thinking my 4th Grade Year when I heard that that it was about right. I always thought she was a Nazi. An education Nazi but all the same, I disliked her back then. That was the summer that I spent with Christy, one of the girls in my class. Her mother babysat me for Daddy and I got to go to the pool and learned to swim only after failing swimming class. Which makes me think about the lifeguard that taught us and the day I learned to swim. He was working that day and I thought he was going to jump off that stand he was sitting on. He was a nice guy.
But then that makes me remember the elementary school I went to and how it was right next to the beach and the times I would day dream about just being out there and not being in school. And then it makes me remember that was my last real summer being just a kid.
A few months later, my father would be working at the shipyard and would have his first heart attack. Life would be forever changed after that. You would think that some people would look back on things like that and resent it. But why? What's the use in it other than taking up energy that would otherwise be put to good use? We are shaped and molded from every single experience right?
I think I had a bit of an "issue" with that before. There are things about growing up that I hated to remember, but I do. Somewhere along the line, it's become clear to me that those times made me who I am.
A pink lovin', fear of bridges, sappy, sentimental, and overall getting to be happy with myself kind of girl.
- Location:My computer
- Mood: calm
- Music:Butterflyz by Alicia Keys
We went to the lake on Saturday and I had a blast. Dirk said he did too. We swam and just hung out with Bricky, Elizabeth and Meredith. It was nice to be able to do that. And it was spur of the moment. I love those times. I got some good pictures of Meredith and used one for my project. I got a good shot of some sandy toes of mine and want to use it for a scrapbook page. I really like this picture a day thing and am having fun with it.
And that was about it for the weekend. So here I am, at sort of a mutual peace with my inner self on some things. Maybe not always at peace with everything but I'm slowly getting there. And it wasn't such a profound moment either. It was just a quiet moment laying in bed, snuggled up with my hubby. You would expect there to be bells ringing, choirs singing, or something but no, it was just a quiet realization. I know I said before I'd leave it up to God but, I really don't think I meant it. Well, I know I didn't. Because I still stressed over it. But there is no stress there right now when I think about it. Only a calm, if it happens, if it doesn't oh well.
- Location:My desk
- Mood:
peaceful - Music:Blood Sweat and Tears by Governor Washington
- Location:Work Work
- Mood:
creative - Music:96.5 KVKI
So why is it that it's always a picture that gives me an idea for a journal entry lately?? Well maybe not but it sure seems that way. I took this picture last night in mom's neighborhood when we were out walking. So I was looking at a few scrapbooking blogs and one gave the suggestion that you take a picture a day for a year and scrap it. Now I know there is a community on here and I was a member at one time, but had to leave it because I just couldn't remember to take the picture. But it's different when you have a project like this huh? I'm going to make an attempt to do it along with my A to Z and a few other things. I like feeling creative again! It makes me feel better about things. A Lot better. Knowing I now have something to do that will be productive. I love projects when I have something to show for it. I really want to take up digital scrapbooking but we'll see. I wold love to get all 365 on two pages if possible. Oh the ideas!!!!
- Location:Same as always
- Mood: creative
- Music:96.5 KVKI
Mr. Cloud came in to see us yesterday and brought each of us a bushel of purple hull peas. I can't tell you what memories this brings back. Well that's a lie. Yes I can. You see when I was a child; my father had a garden with the neighbor next door who was our landlord. And I'm not just talking about a small little thing with a couple of vegetables either. We're talking rows and rows and rows and rows and rows of all kinds of beans and peas. Then there were the rows of tomatoes, the rows of okra, the rows of green beans grown on the vines, the rows of corn, the potatoes, the watermelons, cantaloupes and then when winter came around turnip greens mixed with mustard greens.
I can't tell you in exact words how much I hated getting out in the hot, hot humid Alabama sun, that when it was 80 at 7 am I thought it was too hot,
and pick peas or cut okra or pick tomatoes. That was all I did. Well, it was mostly the peas and beans because there were so many of those. I remember sweating and the clothes I had on sticking to my back because I was sweating so much and thinking to myself that this was no way to spend a summer vacation. That while all my friends were at the beach, here I was picking peas, shelling peas, helping to cut up okra,
pick tomatoes, all that good stuff. I hated summertime back then.
So once again I found myself dreading this. When the planting season was almost upon us right before my senior year in high school. Here I was once again, going to be doing the same thing over again. Dreading it. Thinking back, what little did I appreciate back then about this process. But my dad asked me, what I wanted to plant for a couple of rows. I remember thinking; you want my actual opinion on something to plant. This was amazing to me that I got asked. Little did I know what was in store for me. But like child with a new toy, I was excited; something was going to be mine! So for some odd reason, I remembered some speckled butter peas that I had not long before that. They were so good. And I wanted some. So Daddy said okay, he'd plant me a couple of rows of them. But and here was the hitch in my giddup, I had to pick them!! Yes that's right. I had to pick them. Okay, they couldn't possibly be like the black-eyed peas and purple hull peas so eagerly, I said ok. We got the seeds and I helped Daddy plant them.
Now I thought, I'd be getting off easy, just a couple of rows of beans to tend to and pick. Yeah right. I laugh now when I realize how silly I was. I still had to help pick all the other peas and tomatoes and okra. But the two rows of butter peas were alone mine to pick. So I slaved (or what I thought was slaving back in the day) at the job of picking my peas. Did you ever have to do that? Where you bent over so long that you thought your back was going to break? Where it was so hot outside that you thought that you'd dissolve into a puddle of sweat and you were only a third of the way through the first row? I remember those days. What little did I appreciate the experience back then. But I did it! And I shelled every last speckled butter pea and then some!
So did it make me change my mind about those peas I wanted? NO. To this day, I still think they are the most perfect, wonderful and beautiful peas. When they are pink with the white speckles. And to have them cooked. Wow, that is comfort food. And comfort food to me is no longer the chips and candy bars. No they are home cooked beans and
peas with the fresh cornbread. Home cooked chicken and dumplins. Well as long as they are made by Mom (Mavis). You know the stuff that is cooked with loving care and makes you remember those days that you hated but as you get older remember with love and affection and realize how appreciate you are of certain things now as you are older.
Let me tell you, when I turned 18 and went to college, I was ecstatic because I thought I'd never HAVE to shell a pea, bean or anything else for that matter, again. Boy was I wrong. Last year Mr. Cloud brought up some peas and I NEVER thought I would be so ready to shell peas. But I was and I enjoyed it. I even enjoyed "blanching" them
and putting them up. And this year, here we are again with peas to shell and I'm well, I won't say happy, that isn't the world. Nostalgic maybe? Last night shelling peas was great. I had the purple thumbs and sore nails to show for it. This morning there is no purple but there is the soreness that comes with the shelling.
And I still have more to go. Do I mind? No. But let me tell you what I do. I do think about those hot summer days picking those peas, tomatoes, okra, and then shelling peas, sitting in the cold living room with my dad, bushel upon bushel, watching whatever was on the TV and shelling, and shelling and shelling. And getting up the next morning and shelling some more when all those chores are done. I think you get the picture on that. It's the quiet times or not so quiet times like that that you spend those loved ones that you don't have around more that you appreciate now,
way more than you did back then. I look at the time that has passed. You know in February it was 5 years since my dad passed. I think of how I sucked it up, put on my big girl panties and did what I had to do to deal with life and all that it entails. But still, I find myself missing him more as I get older. The more I remember things like that. Times weren't always bad. We did have our moments and goodness knows I was far from the perfect child and we didn't have the perfect situation at all. I'm sure it was hard being that single parent. But along the way, I'd like to think I turned out pretty good and would hope that he's looking down happy with the way I turned out.
I find myself more nostalgic about those times. No longer the experiences of an unhappy childhood, but seeing how well that I did have it.
Did I ever starve? Heck no, thanks to that wonderful garden. And I had a roof over my head and clothes on my back and a comfortable bed to sleep in. But I'm grateful for those times, however bad I thought that they were back then. Looking back, they weren't. They were something that should have made me grateful for the time spent with my dad, and the experience in itself. How many kids of today do what I did back then? How many appreciate it of the ones that do it? Will they ever truly appreciate it?
Amazing what shelling peas brings back huh?
- Location:Work
- Mood: nostalgic
- Music:Letting The Cables Sleep~Bush
'Cuz Life is a Journey Worth Scrappin'
That was in my email a couple of days ago and I loved it! And it's so true. Just my two cents for the day.
So I'm struggeling to try to get out of this dark awful mood that I am in and be spunky again.
So I decided to do this crazy survey that was on my myspace bulletin from a girl I went to High School with
it's called Layers of Me. The goal in life is having fun right? I need to have more moments to scrap. Making a mental
note to self on that one.
Layer One: On the Outside
Name: Donna
Birthday: Jan. 15th
Current Location: Bossier City, LA
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Righty or Lefty: Right
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Layer Two: On the OutSIDE
Your Heritage: RedNeck is that even considered one? I mean come on, a girl can go without shoes and be okay right? LoL Seriously though, I'm Scottish, German, and whatever else, I can't quite remember.
Your Fears: Spiders, Scorpions, Snakes
Your Weakness: Beautiful Eyes, Sheppard Smith LOL
Goal: To Complete all my "lists" in life and do what I need to do for me
Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first thing in the Morning: I don't want to go to work!
Your most missed memory: Having no worries beyond what I'm going to wear to school the next day.
Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Mt. Dew Please!!!!!!
McDonald's or Burger King : Chick Fil A
Single or Group dates: Been on a double date before, but back then I was too shy and stupid to open my mouth. I'd say single.
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Neither one!
Chocolate or Vanilla: : Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Layer Five: Do You?
Smoke: Nope
Have a crush: Yeah, my husband Okay and my not so secret crush on Sheppard Smith
Think you've been in love: I Know I Am!!
Want to get married: As a matter of fact, I did this!
Believe in yourself: At times I do. I'm trying to do this more and more
Think you're a health freak: No
Layer Six: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Yeah, could use a bottle of wine right now
Gone to the mall: Yes, unfortunately
Eaten Sushi: EWWWWW
Gone skating: No-fear of falling on my ass stops me each time
Dyed your hair: yes
Layer Seven: Have Your Ever?
Played a stripping game: Can't remember if I have
Gotten beaten up: No
Changed who you were to fit in:Yeah, more times than I care to admit
Layer Eight: Getting Old
Age you're hoping to be married: well doesn't count since I'm already married right?
Layer Nine: Perfect Mate
Best Eye Color: brown
Best Hair Color: blackish brown
Short or Long Hair: : Short
Layer Ten: What were you doing...
1 MINUTE AGO: Working
1 HOUR AGO: Working
Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence
I LOVE watching cop shows
I FEEL a infinately better not dwelling on the bad stuff.
I HATE people who don't appreciate what they have
I HIDE: my stomach
I MISS: my dad like crazy right now
I NEED: to not let myself get down and depressed over things I can't control.
Do I feel a little better? Yeah. So I need to snap out of it! Rite? Rite!!!!
- Location:Same cubby hole of life
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:Tender~Blurr
We have a resident drama queen here at work. And I do mean drama queen. She's 25ish and pregnant. Now I know what you are going to say. Her being pregnant is a lot of it. No, it's not. She was this way before she got pregnant. I think right now, she's using it as an excuse. But she'll say she's just telling you the truth and that's what she does and if you can't deal with it your a baby.
Okay, well, I'm putting my big girl panties on and dealing with it. I've had enough. She will call one of our companies and yell, not get angry and talk in a "tone" to the company CSR, she'll yell. Yesterday is a prime example. We had a customer in the office and she called a company and went off on the poor CSR while the client was in the office. Yelling. Yes Yelling. She's done it so many times before and when is enough of her crap enough. We've talked to the boss and he wont' do anything. There was a huge drama when she saw the office manager's commission checks. I think we've all had our limit with her and yet the boss won't do anything.
We're at a loss to get him to do anything other than threatning to walk out. I love my job though!!! I love my boss and I love the girls that I work with but HER!!! Our office manager is looking. Makes me wonder if I shouldn't too. I know ultimately this is not what I want to do, but should I use this as a spring board? Realistically what are my options???!!!!!!
What is a girl to do??
- Location:my cubby hole
- Mood:
pissed off - Music:AOL Late Nite Mix
So what would be on my list?
1. A Child.
2. To be able to write a book, have it published and be happy with myself that I did this.
3. To totally throw myself out of my own safety net and element and live in a totally different place
4. To either work for a police department, sherriff's department, some sort of law enforcement that won't require me to carry a gun because you know, I like a good desk job! Or to be able to work in a loss control field.
5. To be happy with myself, spiritually, physicaly and mentally.
This is not my top ten list for the year because well, that's stuff I AM doing now. But this still begs the question, what are you doing to achieve these?? Well, let's take a look at it.
1. A child- right now not a thing, Why? I'm trying to leave it in Gods hands but at the same time, I haven't been hard core dieting and exercizing. I need to do that. I know I do. So where is my willpower when I need it? I think I need to find it and if you've seen it, please let me know.
2. My book. Well you know, I did start this. And I am working on it. I just need to push and write a certain amount of pages a day. Something I have slacked off of this week and I'm determined to start back this weekend.
3. We've talked about this. It seems that's all we do. We haven't decided and we haven't talked about it and you know what. I think this weekend we are going to sit down and firmly talk about it. It's time.
4. I did fill out the application for the file clerk for the police department. Now if I can just get the courage to turn it in. I need to have more confidence in myself and my work abilites, which I know are there.
5. This is something I need to work on and the perfect solution as to how to do it, is hard for me to figure out. What will it take to truely be happy with myself in all aspects? Hmmmm think this one requires a lot of thought and planning and well, you know, I need to work with my father in law on some of this, well the spiritual side I think. Maybe he can help out in that area. I think I'll be physically happy with myself if i can do the weight loss and baby and mentally, well, that I think will come when I'm already really happy in all other aspects. This part needs a lot of work.
So it's clear to me that not only do I need to complete my top 10 list for this year and looking back, a couple of my top 5 are on my top 10 but all the better, but I need to work on this too. How long will it take? Who knows. I just know I need to do it, for me and well, let's face it, if I'm happy then maybe i might have a different/better out look on things. Right now I think I focus too much on the negative.
So what about you? What do YOU want out of your life?
- Location:The cubby hole
- Mood: contemplative
- Music:Stone Temple Pilots~ Creep
Who cares if he's teething, sick or what??!!! Not me. I think it worries his mom and she thinks that we'll be mad if she misses work to take care of him but we're not. He's a baby, he needs taken care of. Mad? No, only when we don't see the little chubby one for a while. Sweet sweet little boy. He just makes me miss him when he's not around. I don't think I've ever really thought of myself as attached to a baby this much. He just holds a nice little spot in my heart.
- Location:Muh Job
- Mood: content
- Music:Aqueous Transmission~Incubus
- Location:My cubby hole
- Mood:
surprised - Music:94.5 KVKI
And why didn't I think of this? I have a dog. My husband would have appreciated it I'm sure. He's the do picker upper in our house so I'm sure he'd love it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just a thought for now. So I had a strange dream the other night and well, while it's nothing new for a strange dream, I have them all the time, this one stuck out because of the "object of my affection". Let me just paraphrase it...
I was in a car with my aunt, mom and a sister and we were going to the hospital to see someone but encountered a huge sinkhole. My aunt was driving and thought that she could make it across. I remember feeling scared and somehow she drove across it. The next thing I knew I was at college and a friend of mine's father was thinking about teaching there. She and I were the same age, her father was in his 50's. I remember thinking he wasn't that much older. I flirted with him and he flirted back and said that he might consider it. Then I was looking for a dress for a party. It was pink and silver and a formal ball gown. I went with my friend and mom and was peeking to see who all was there and the man was there, decked out in his military uniform. I was estatic and walked out and as soon as he looked at me, I turned on a smile and walked over and flirted with him some. The next part I remember was it was the next morning and my friend and I were discussing how much her father liked me and she thought it was great. We were at breakfast and getting chili cheese fries and a coke and then walked to class.
So I posted it on a dream interpretation board, that I found by accident and by the way, I love it. If you want the link let me know. Here is what the girl had to say about the symbolism......
Vehicles usually symbolizes our passage through the journey of life. The way that you travel through your life's journey, and your effectiveness in controlling your life.
The type of vehicle will give indications of the type of experience being related in the dream message. For instance, an ambulance will indicate a need for healing in the giving and receiving of experience, a police car will signify the need for discipline in experiences, an old car might suggest old habits, or 'things the way they used to be' or the need to change the old way of doing things...etc.
Relatives - usually represent an aspect of yourself relative to the character of the person in your dream. Sometimes represents your family traditions, subconscious attitudes, conventions, or even talents, that are part of the unique psychological and social environment a family provides.
Mother - represents, nurturing, wisdom, the subconscious, intuition, natural and instinctive life, and more experienced part of feminine self aspect. Also, your relationship with your mother.
Hospital - symbolizes a need for for care, healing, and recovery. It could be physical, psychological, emotional or spiritual healing that is needed.
Sinkhole - represents an obstacle in the path towards your goals. That you were able to safely get across, it suggests that you feel capable of overcoming whatever obstacle that is currently presenting itself in your waking life.
Pink - a feminine color that usually symbolizes love,(tender love rather than passionate love ie: the love for a child, sibling, or parent), happiness, joy, compassion, the attainment of a goal(success), health and good feelings.
Silver - symbolizes something of value with regard to your personal development. May symbolize the feminine (silver has associations with the moon) which would represent intuition; or the subconscious.
Dress - represents femininity, how you present yourself to others, and a need to exteriorize feelings(wanting to, or showing, everyone your state of mind, attitude, etc.).
Uniform - This could be hinting at something in your life which you feel you have some sort of duty or obligation to. It could be a symbol of conformity or thoughts shared by others as well.
- Location:Work, work work
- Mood: happy
- Music:Wait for You~Elliot Yamin
So I'm still struggeling with my sugar. I wish I didn't have to check it like I do. It has been dipping down to the low 80's to the low 90's in the am and getting up around 140 at it's highest. I know that's not bad but it's a struggle to know what to fix and what's not going to drive it up so high. But I'm learning. The drink stuff that Mama got me I guess is working. I think she's ordering me some more. I told her yesterday that I needed it. And she gave us a sweet honeymoon present! When we got to Mikey's wedding in August, we're going to use that for our honeymoon. We already get to drive the Oregon coast on the way back to Washington and I get to visit Seattle and Mama's taking us to Canada for the day. Well we found out yesterday that we have a room booked at the Marriott in downtown Portland near old Portland. Dirk is excited and said that it's a very nice area and the hotel is one of the nicest in town. I'm excited about the whole trip and I think it's getting more exciting as the time is going on. But to think that I have to wait till August!
Mom told me on Thursday that the autopsy results for baby Aaron came back. It was SIDS. But then I started researching it and some of the top causes are overweight and poor prenatal care. And did you know that 61% of the babies that die from SIDS are male babies? Just makes me think that when she was pregnant at the family reunion in October and she was already 20 plus weeks along and hadn't seen a doctor. Hearing her mother say, oh she'll be fine. She maybe fine but how much of that not seeing a doctor contributed to Aaron dying? Okay, I'm getting off that subject because it just makes me sad. He was a week older than Corban.
I'm thinking I need to get back to work. Oh well. I'm sure I'll have more later, I'm such a chatter box HA HA
- Location:My cubbyhole
- Mood: excited
- Music:Tattoo by Jordan Sparks
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